Guide Dealing with Your Sexuality

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According to Nicolosi, college tends to be a prime time for questioning because of the new environment and the exposure to all sorts of people. Once liberated at college, many of these students are able to explore their sexuality. Akriti, a student at Johns Hopkins University, found college was key to truly discovering her sexual identity.

College kids are liberal. I started college off not hiding my sexuality like I had throughout most of high school.

For Virginia, coming out was nerve-wracking but worth it. I told them I thought I was becoming gay. It was terrifying telling them. Nicolosi agrees: coming out can be tricky but often worth the peace of mind. Here are her tips for talking to friends and family:. Ask them what their experiences were like and how they approached coming out: what strategies worked and what do they wish they could have done differently when talking to friends and family?

Alice tested the waters by telling a few people before she told her sorority sisters. For Eva, her sexual identity is not her defining trait, but she will bring up the topic to mostly anyone because of the welcoming atmosphere at Colby. Nicolosi advises starting with just a trustworthy friend.


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Parents can be more difficult to talk to. Your parents may not be OK with it at first, but giving them time to adjust will help. Their reactions may surprise you.


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  • Virginia is out to her parents, and received a warm reaction. But for Akriti, Eva and Alice — they have not told their parents because they do not believe their parents would be OK with it. If you think certain people will not be open minded about the subject, Alice advises waiting or just not telling them.

    Questioning your sexuality

    Telling just one other person, though, is an important first step. But don't be afraid to talk through what's going on, even if it's with one other person. Not comfortable talking to friends and family yet?

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    Seeking professional support can really help. Remember that counseling does not suggest that you have a mental health problem. You can also seek support from online communities like Go Ask Alice and Scarleteen. Coming out is daunting enough, but it can sometimes be harder to meet and create relationships with people. For Eva, meeting lesbian or bi girls is no harder than meeting guys. LGBT students in college have similar romantic struggles as heterosexual students.

    I want to be genuine friends with someone and be able to talk to them during the week without it being awkward. Connect with others like you. Before I started identifying and writing about male bisexuality, I knew zero bisexual men.

    Accepting Your Sexuality

    Not even one. The few men I knew who identified as bisexual, soon after identified as gay, which led me to believe that I might actually be gay. Given the lack of male bisexuality in the media, I was genuinely not sure it existed.

    This is why the Internet exists: to connect people. If only I had used it to for that purpose instead of watching Netflix. I could have met and spoken to bisexual men who had similar thoughts, questions and experiences.

    How guilt, shame and fear poison sexuality

    Explore without judging and over analyzing. And, if you analyze everything to death, it can actually be detrimental. Deep breath. Stop thinking.

    Start doing. As you start to explore your gender and sexuality, you might find yourself doing new things. As long as you are safe, respectful to yourself and respectful to others, you have nothing to regret.

    Questioning your sexuality

    Take advantage of LGBT groups on campus. I would kill to have easy access to LGBT lectures, debates and support groups. I had a strong desire to hook up with men. I knew I liked women. I would have been ignoring a huge part of my sexuality.

    Understanding your sexuality | ReachOut Australia

    I know it consumes your every thought. It may take longer than you would like, but you will figure out who you are. Do your best to enjoy the process and revel in the ambiguity. All Rights Reserved.